The Dope Box TV Blog

The Hills, MTV Series, Mondays

Obviously this episode’s purpose was to setup Whitney’s future spinoff. Kelly Cutrone, the matron of darkness, sends Whit and LC off to NY for fashion week where they help out by dressing and interrogating male models (seriously, what was with the 20 questions?). Model #1 wouldn’t divulge his age, and I was certain his delicate sensibilities had been disturbed. Until he asked the girls out.

They meet up with Model #1 and Alex at Il Bastardo (perfect) where Whitney begins her juggling act. She eyes hairy musician Jay who she fauns over, and subsequently ignores Alex. LC encourages her to “be forward” (all praise promiscuity!) with the “serenader”.  Alex is clearly sweet on Whitney and stayed, waiting for attention, for an emasculating, embarrassingly long time. He and his trucker hat were ditched for the newest Aussie love interest on the show.

Back in LA: Heidi, looking pensive and synthetic, is upset over losing her “job” and seeks comfort from…Spencer? He seems giddy and can’t understand why being fired would be an issue. This is because a). Being Heidi’s boyfriend/wet-blanket is the only gig he’s ever had, and b). They’re making $65K each, per episode for filming this malarkey. But they can’t mention that on camera. It’s sort of like Fight Club; the first rule about The Hills is you don’t talk about The Hills.

Spencer convinces Heidi that being fired is a reason to party. While they’re out they just happen to run into Brent Bolthouse, which is totally not a setup by producers or anything. Mr. Pratt actually surprised me by being genuinely apologetic and trying to get Heidi her job back (despite secretly wanting her to be unemployed so he can get in some serious smothering). Spencer is told he’s “bad news”. Heidi tries to resolve the conflict with her standard doe-eyed-crinkly-brow “I’m, like, upset” expression.

“Dude, your boyfriend’s a nightmare; what’s wrong with you?”

 –Brent Bolthouse, to…guess who

Heroes, NBC TV series, Mondays

Hiro eats some magical guano that makes his irises snowy and prompts flashbacks to the previous year. The cynic in me thinks the flashbacks were a ploy to get the apathetic fans interested again. I’d like to say I was immune to this ruse but…it was damn nice to be reminded of why I became a fan to begin with. It was also nice to have a virtually Claire-less and Peter-free episode.

In a plotline almost entirely bitten from La Femme Nikita, Meredith is criminal turned agent by the Company. They’ve captured her dim brother, promising (with fingers crossed so it doesn’t count) to make him an agent too. She chooses bro over foe and busts him out. While fireball production isn’t exactly a coveted power, this character has potential. She deserves more screen time than she’s been getting. Sans cheerleader, please.

It’s clear that Angela Petrelli’s mind had been excessively excavated by Arthur (who is so tan he looks green). She appeared near lobotomized before Linderman healed her. She makes the best of her healed mind, making a scrumptious pot of lentil death soup for her assailant. That Linderman, I don’t know what we’re supposed to think of him. What was his motivation for healing her?

The most interesting vignette for me was of Gabriel/Sylar and Elle (with HRG/Noah). Gabriel, before becoming full-on Sylar, apparently felt so guilty about his emerging “hunger” that he tried to off himself via noose. Elle is playing undercover agent on a mission to observe just how screwy the watch-repairer is. Clearly, Gabriel takes a liking to electro-girl which is only exacerbated by her total exploitation of peach pie (no pie-teasing, ladies, it’s just wrong).

In a stunning final scene, Arthur appears out of nowhere, beheads Usutu (thanks!) and lets Hiro know the jig is up.

The episode’s title is “Villains” which leads me to wonder…which of these characters are we to believe are bad? We’re shown humanity from those thought previously foul. They added some much needed layers that make choosing the villains a more subjective game. Linderman, Sylar, Angela, Thompson, Elle…villains? Or misunderstood?

“I lied; it’s not your mother’s recipe.” -Angela