The Dope Box TV Blog

Moments of delight

1. Anna Paquin winning! Since True Blood is a show that people either adore or loathe, I thought she was a long shot. When she won I was embarrassingly over-enthused. After her name was announced, she stole a smooch from Stephen Moyer (who looked quite proud). Sookie and Bill are dating in real life! I’m going exclamation point crazy!!! See what I mean about embarrassing?

2. Ricky Gervais sauntering up to the mic while nursing a beer, and, noticing that the crowd had no interest in quieting, said: “Listen. How rude are you lot? Just ‘cause you’re film stars…Shoosh!” Later, as a nod to Extras (in which Kate had a guest spot), he said: “Well done, Winslet! I told you to do a Holocaust movie. The awards come.”

3. Glenn Close, grinning like a schoolgirl when Johnny Depp was onstage.

4. Patrick Dempsey and Amy Poehler, each rushing to be the first to say ”And the Golden Globe goes to…”

5. Tracy Morgan accepting the award for Best Television Series - Musical or Comedy for 30 Rock. “Tina and I had an agreement that if Barack Obama won, I would speak for the show from now on. I’m the face of post-racial America! Deal with it, Cate Blanchett!” After a whisper from Alec Baldwin, Tracy thanked Jerry Zucker and called him “Jay Z,” with the actual Jay Z in the audience.

6. Tina Fey winning Best Actress in a TV series - Musical or Comedy. I loved that Jane Krakowski got to present her with the award. And Tina’s speech: “I’ve always loved the Hollywood Foreign Press. As a kid I had all the Hollywood Foreign Press action figures.” “If you ever start to feel too good about yourself they have this thing called the internet. And you can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now.” She then proceeded to give screen names and tell folks to “suck it.” Although Kathy Griffin probably has dibs on “suck it” awards speeches, it still made me chuckle.

Head-scratchers and Gripes

1.  Let me just start out by saying I think the supporting actor/actress categories are tripe. They combine series, mini-series, and made-for-TV-movie nominees. There should be a separate category for series actors and television-movie actors. Otherwise, you have people like Neil Patrick Harris (who is the only reason I continue to watch How I Met Your Mother) up against guys like Tom Wilkinson. Come on Hollywood Foreign Press! Give the series television actors a shot!

2. Best Actor in a Television Series - Drama: I was hardcore rooting for Hugh Laurie, Jon Hamm, or Michael C. Hall (three of my Most Watchable Men of 2008) and would have been happy with a Jonathan Rhys-Meyers win as well. But, my awards fears were realized when Gabriel Byrne got the Globe…and wasn’t even there to accept it! When Zac Efron has to accept an award on your behalf it should count as a default and be handed to the runner-up.

3. Miley Cyrus (plus Billy Ray) and the Jonas Brothers? Who let the “virginal” tween acts in?

4. I could have sworn I heard several people booing Shirley MacLaine.

5. Pairing Rainn Wilson (who is hilarious and astute with improv) with Blake Lively was cruel. They should have found her an intellectual equal. Was Elmo not available?

Here is a full list of the winners for the television categories:

Best Television Series - Drama

Dexter

House

In Treatment

Mad Men (Woot! I finally got past the first few boring episodes and loved the rest of the season.)

True Blood

 Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series - Drama

Sally Field - Brothers & Sisters

Mariska Hargitay - Law & Order

January Jones - Mad Men

Anna Paquin - True Blood (Woot!)

Kyra Sedgwick - The Closer

 Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series - Drama

Gabriel Byrne - In Treatment (Boo!)

Michael C. Hall - Dexter

Jon Hamm - Mad Men

Hugh Laurie - House

Jonathan Rhys Meyers - The Tudors

 Best Television Series - Musical Or Comedy

 30 Rock (Woot!)

Californication

Entourage

The Office

Weeds

 Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series - Musical Or Comedy

Christina Applegate - Samantha Who?

America Ferrera - Ugly Betty

Tina Fey - 30 Rock (Woot!)

Debra Messing - The Starter Wife

Mary-Louise Parker - Weeds

 Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series - Musical Or Comedy

Alec Baldwin - 30 Rock (Woot!)

Steve Carell - The Office

Kevin Connolly - Entourage

David Duchovny - Californication

Tony Shalhoub - Monk  

Best Mini-Series Or Motion Picture Made for Television

A Raisin In The Sun

Bernard And Doris

Cranford

John Adams (Woot!)

Recount

 Best Performance by an Actress In A Mini-series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Judi Dench - Cranford

Catherine Keener - An American Crime

Laura Linney - John Adams (Woot!)

Shirley MacLaine - Coco Chanel

Susan Sarandon - Bernard And Doris

 Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Ralph Fiennes - Bernard And Doris

Paul Giamatti - John Adams (Woot!)

Kevin Spacey - Recount

Kiefer Sutherland - 24

Tom Wilkinson - Recount

 Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Eileen Atkins - Cranford

Laura Dern - Recount (Ambivalence!)

Melissa George - In Treatment

Rachel Griffiths - Brothers & Sisters

Dianne Wiest - In Treatment

 Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Neil Patrick Harris - How I Met Your Mother

Denis Leary - Recount

Jeremy Piven - Entourage

Blair Underwood - In Treatment  

Tom Wilkinson - John Adams (Semi-woot! See gripe #1)

Liz Lemon’s biological clock is not just ticking; it’s sounding a thunderous alarm. An alarm so hypnotizing, it makes her hoard the abandoned shoes of infants and carry them around in a tote.  As if that isn’t creepy enough, she also pets the heads of unknown children, one of whom turns out to be a little person named Stuart (Peter Dinklage). She plays it off as flirtation and, luckily for her, he likes his women “aggressive with a nerdy vibe.”

The perfect outfit for an intervention about your spending habits: A shirt made entirely out of money and solid gold shoes. When Tracy says he spends so his wife can’t leave him and take everything, Jack hooks him up with a post-nup. But Tracy tears it up when Angie says she won’t leave him or, rather, that she’s going to “watch him die.” A celebratory nookie-fest ensues in Jack’s office and again in the hallway (where a traumatized Kenneth turns away in horror).

Jack finds a lump on his ball whilst using a public urinal. The shock causes him to ingest a peppermint with the wrapper still intact. I’m so neurotic, all I could think was: Did he wash his hands before taking that mint?  His mother’s nurse Elisa (Salma Hayek) examines his testicle and he soon falls in love with her. The two events are not necessarily correlated. He goes to a picnic where he’s greeted by Salma’s ample bosom and handed a baby.

Liz is determined not to ruin things with Stuart. She decides never to mention Wii or to order tall coffee around him. It’s all over when she puts her arm in front of him to protect him from fire and calls herself “weirder” than he is. Hoping for a second chance, she asks Stu to meet her on the Brooklyn Bridge if he wants a fresh start (like Miranda/Steve do in the Sex and the City movie). While she waits, she fluffs the hair of some little boy. Stuart witnesses the random act of mussing and realizes that’s what Liz was doing when they met. As a fan of Dinklage, I was hoping she’d take a little longer screwing it up.

In the meantime, Jenna is pushing hard to score the part of Janis Joplin in a movie with Jack Donaghy at the helm. She auditions in character and full-on costume but she’s a little fuzzy on historical details of the late 60’s (”What is that iron bird?”). They don’t actually have the rights to Joplin’s name or music, however. So, on TGS, Jenna is introduced as Janet Jopler and sings something that sounds like “Take another little chunk of my lung now, mister.”

Favorite Kenneth moment of the week: His version of “Top That” from Teen Witch, complete with old school hand gestures and an explanation for being the substitute warm-up act.

“I find that authoritative, rapid Spanish subdues white people.” -Elisa