The Dope Box TV Blog

The Hills, It’s about trust, MTV series Episode Recap & Review Blog

Debris from the Lauren/Audrina/Justin Bobby fiasco is still floating around in the air of The Hills. Lauren tells Lo, who’s ever-so curious whether this is the end of Audrina, that she doesn’t know how she’ll forgive her accuser. She’s clearly still pretty offended and wants to know Audrina is actually sorry before she can try to be friends with her again. Brody tells her to let Audrina go since no one needs a friend who defames them so fervently. Okay, he actually says, “That’s the craziest sh*t I ever heard in my entire life… You gotta let her go.” Whitney shows Audrina some sympathy, rationalizing that the poor girl probably needs Lauren right now. Whit also mentions her NYC Serenader, who signs all texts with “xoxo.” All together now: *Awwww*

Watching Chiara, as Audrina mentions Justin Bobby, is often entertaining. Either she is unable to stop her eyes from rolling or she’s cool with making her opinions obvious. Most of us have similar reactions when the dreaded surfer’s name is spoken: rolling eyes, letting out disappointed sighs, and various other nonverbal signs of disgust. Audrina is relieved but sad because the rumor (and her willingness to believe it) “costed” her friendship with Lauren. I haven’t heard anyone say “costed” since my niece was 2. Audrina says she just wants everything to go back to normal. Perhaps she should have thought of that before doing a Lauren-slept-with-Justin-and-I’m-totally-sad press tour. The following are some of what she did to publicize the details of the alleged event (acting like it was fact not rumor): The Ellen Show, The Hills After Show, Us Weekly cover story, and an official blog war. She also managed to plug her straight-to-DVD bikini movie while slandering her pal.

Casey, Audrina’s sis, makes it clear that Lauren deserves an apology. Obviously not what Audrina wanted to hear. She desperately wanted someone, anyone, to tell her she was the victim, but no one can. The mess she made was created by her addiction to a guy who continually screws with her. He may not have slept with Lauren, but he has slept with other friends and a bounty of strangers. I thought this foray back into the JB relationship was one last ditch effort to make it work. Without the ability to trust him, romance seems like an impossible feat. I know, silly me, this won’t be the last we hear from good ol’ Justin Bobby.

During a tearful meeting between wounded friends, Lauren says she’s having a hard time forgiving. She does this by interjecting self-help clichés (which she does with reliable regularity), while offering advice on being a better friend and learning to trust people. Audrina has an emotional break, confessing that if she weren’t with JB she’d likely be happier (duh), saying she feels lost, and she doesn’t know who she is. The solution seems easy (and involves the barring of one burdensome, greasy inhabitant of Venice Beach) but I fear Audrina just can’t quit her addiction. We’ll have to wait and see, I suppose. The two end their emotional discussion with a hug, possibly signifying the healing of their friendship.

The Hills, One Last Chance MTV series

The show begins with a little chat between Whitney and Lauren. Whit has kept in contact with Jay the Serenader…guess we’ll see more of his hairy Aussie hotness on her new show. LC mentions that Holly is “crashing” at her place. They both agree that it would be a shame if the sweet Midwestern girl incurs the wrath of Spencer. LC and Audrina have a similar talk later on at a club. They repeatedly, and with emphasis, mention what a “real girl” Holly is. A strange compliment, but I suppose there is a shortage of “real” anything in LA.

Next on Lauren’s tour of telling everyone about Holly (seriously, did she do anything else this week?): Stephanie Pratt. Why, Lauren? Why do you continue to share things with Steph that you don’t want Speidi to know?

Justin Bobby and Audrina are seen taking a couple’s stroll down Venice Beach. In Hollywood, JB seems out of place, but in this environment he just makes sense. They sit in the sand where Justin philosophizes about sunsets and points out that which is “zenful”.  

Audrina gushes about how much her boyfried is improving to her sister Casey. Sis, looking unimpressed, asks if he still disappears for a week at a time without explanation. From the sight of Audrina’s squirming I would guess the answer is yes.

Mr. Zen and Audrina have a cute little dinner where he gives her a t-shirt and then makes a classy request: “No bra with that thing please. Thank you.” It’s important to say “please” and “thank you” when asking girls to shed their undergarments, right?

Heidi is multitasking: organizing her closet and playing the blame game. Damn her! Why does she have to put me in a position to have to defend Sir Douchebag? Okay, here it is. She invited him to her work event, she insulted her boss, she got wasted. Yes, he’s an absolute nightmare of a human being but her firing was not his fault. Ugh, now I feel sullied. As for Holly…Heidi didn’t have to throw her sister out. She could have chosen sis over dick. She allowed him to push away yet another person she’s close to.

Sam Nazarian (head guy of sbe, whose logo is always in view when he’s on camera) gives Heidi another chance. Of course he does! He knows having Heidi and the MTV film crew at his company’s shindigs is good for business. Oh, right, we don’t talk about the fact that they’re all being filmed for a hit MTV series. Maybe they’ll do a spinoff  of The Hills where they actually talk about The Hills.

Spencer gives Heidi kudos for getting rehired. And then ruins the moment by saying how it’s great because now she “won’t be moping around here.” Enter Stephanie, who tells them Holly is staying with Lauren (within 30 seconds of her arrival). Spencie proceeds to say “mooch” about a hundred times and Heidi then blurts out the understatement of the century (“Maybe you’re the problem.”). End scene.

“Who’s gonna say no to a homeless person?” -Stephanie