The Dope Box TV Blog

The Hills: Dream Boy, Dream Job MTV series

Kelly Cutrone, of People’s Revolution, kindly set up an interview for Whitney with Diane von Furstenberg. Kelly also congratulated herself on being such a thoughtful boss. Although I think Whitney really does work (as opposed to some of the other folks on the show), I have my reservations about believing all these great jobs just land in her lap. Having an employee on The Hills is like having a half hour commercial for your business every Monday night.

Whitney’s interview seems to have gone pretty well. She was fairly articulate and didn’t over-swallow her G’s (does that annoy anyone else?). After the interview, Jay the Serenader is waiting outside. He continually looks her up and down, talks about how much he likes her dress, and says she’s “hot.” He’s kinda rocking the Justin Bobby ’07 look: long hair, face scruff, baggy clothes, flannel around waist. Could this be a warning sign for future pig behavior? They literally talk for 2 minutes before she has to get in a cab to catch a plane. If they were a normal couple, he would go with her to keep her company. But since MTV probably can’t film at the airport, and nothing on The Hills can happen without a camera present, they kiss goodbye in the street.

Spencer, who is almost always eating, meets with his sis for a little scolding. She’s upset about Cameron, which makes Spencer protective to a menacing degree. He brings up the Brody crap again and calls Cam a punk but he also tells her she can do better (nice?). Because she’s a very very slow learner, Steph decides to bring Cameron to dinner with Speidi. Shortly thereafter, she breaks up with Cameron again. The break up scene was highly suspicious because when the camera was facing Cam, Stephanie’s voice sounded like it had been looped (like a voice-over). It was when she said she deserves better and that she wants to find a guy who makes her happy. She must have said some really stupid shit for them to have to dub her lines post-production. Reality my ass.

Lauren and Lo took a trip to Laguna to pack up her childhood home. Her parents have decided to move since they’ll be empty nesters soon. The view from the porch is enviably gorgeous. Lauren reads a journal entry about her first kiss with Steven whats-his-face. In a surprisingly macabre revelation: Lauren wrote a will when she was a teen. In it, she said she’d like to be buried in her homecoming dress with the crown placed atop the coffin.

“Join a nun’s thing.” –Spencer, dispensing relationship advice. He means nunnery.

The Hills, It’s about trust, MTV series Episode Recap & Review Blog

Debris from the Lauren/Audrina/Justin Bobby fiasco is still floating around in the air of The Hills. Lauren tells Lo, who’s ever-so curious whether this is the end of Audrina, that she doesn’t know how she’ll forgive her accuser. She’s clearly still pretty offended and wants to know Audrina is actually sorry before she can try to be friends with her again. Brody tells her to let Audrina go since no one needs a friend who defames them so fervently. Okay, he actually says, “That’s the craziest sh*t I ever heard in my entire life… You gotta let her go.” Whitney shows Audrina some sympathy, rationalizing that the poor girl probably needs Lauren right now. Whit also mentions her NYC Serenader, who signs all texts with “xoxo.” All together now: *Awwww*

Watching Chiara, as Audrina mentions Justin Bobby, is often entertaining. Either she is unable to stop her eyes from rolling or she’s cool with making her opinions obvious. Most of us have similar reactions when the dreaded surfer’s name is spoken: rolling eyes, letting out disappointed sighs, and various other nonverbal signs of disgust. Audrina is relieved but sad because the rumor (and her willingness to believe it) “costed” her friendship with Lauren. I haven’t heard anyone say “costed” since my niece was 2. Audrina says she just wants everything to go back to normal. Perhaps she should have thought of that before doing a Lauren-slept-with-Justin-and-I’m-totally-sad press tour. The following are some of what she did to publicize the details of the alleged event (acting like it was fact not rumor): The Ellen Show, The Hills After Show, Us Weekly cover story, and an official blog war. She also managed to plug her straight-to-DVD bikini movie while slandering her pal.

Casey, Audrina’s sis, makes it clear that Lauren deserves an apology. Obviously not what Audrina wanted to hear. She desperately wanted someone, anyone, to tell her she was the victim, but no one can. The mess she made was created by her addiction to a guy who continually screws with her. He may not have slept with Lauren, but he has slept with other friends and a bounty of strangers. I thought this foray back into the JB relationship was one last ditch effort to make it work. Without the ability to trust him, romance seems like an impossible feat. I know, silly me, this won’t be the last we hear from good ol’ Justin Bobby.

During a tearful meeting between wounded friends, Lauren says she’s having a hard time forgiving. She does this by interjecting self-help clichés (which she does with reliable regularity), while offering advice on being a better friend and learning to trust people. Audrina has an emotional break, confessing that if she weren’t with JB she’d likely be happier (duh), saying she feels lost, and she doesn’t know who she is. The solution seems easy (and involves the barring of one burdensome, greasy inhabitant of Venice Beach) but I fear Audrina just can’t quit her addiction. We’ll have to wait and see, I suppose. The two end their emotional discussion with a hug, possibly signifying the healing of their friendship.