The Dope Box TV Blog

The Hills, It’s about trust, MTV series Episode Recap & Review Blog

Debris from the Lauren/Audrina/Justin Bobby fiasco is still floating around in the air of The Hills. Lauren tells Lo, who’s ever-so curious whether this is the end of Audrina, that she doesn’t know how she’ll forgive her accuser. She’s clearly still pretty offended and wants to know Audrina is actually sorry before she can try to be friends with her again. Brody tells her to let Audrina go since no one needs a friend who defames them so fervently. Okay, he actually says, “That’s the craziest sh*t I ever heard in my entire life… You gotta let her go.” Whitney shows Audrina some sympathy, rationalizing that the poor girl probably needs Lauren right now. Whit also mentions her NYC Serenader, who signs all texts with “xoxo.” All together now: *Awwww*

Watching Chiara, as Audrina mentions Justin Bobby, is often entertaining. Either she is unable to stop her eyes from rolling or she’s cool with making her opinions obvious. Most of us have similar reactions when the dreaded surfer’s name is spoken: rolling eyes, letting out disappointed sighs, and various other nonverbal signs of disgust. Audrina is relieved but sad because the rumor (and her willingness to believe it) “costed” her friendship with Lauren. I haven’t heard anyone say “costed” since my niece was 2. Audrina says she just wants everything to go back to normal. Perhaps she should have thought of that before doing a Lauren-slept-with-Justin-and-I’m-totally-sad press tour. The following are some of what she did to publicize the details of the alleged event (acting like it was fact not rumor): The Ellen Show, The Hills After Show, Us Weekly cover story, and an official blog war. She also managed to plug her straight-to-DVD bikini movie while slandering her pal.

Casey, Audrina’s sis, makes it clear that Lauren deserves an apology. Obviously not what Audrina wanted to hear. She desperately wanted someone, anyone, to tell her she was the victim, but no one can. The mess she made was created by her addiction to a guy who continually screws with her. He may not have slept with Lauren, but he has slept with other friends and a bounty of strangers. I thought this foray back into the JB relationship was one last ditch effort to make it work. Without the ability to trust him, romance seems like an impossible feat. I know, silly me, this won’t be the last we hear from good ol’ Justin Bobby.

During a tearful meeting between wounded friends, Lauren says she’s having a hard time forgiving. She does this by interjecting self-help clichés (which she does with reliable regularity), while offering advice on being a better friend and learning to trust people. Audrina has an emotional break, confessing that if she weren’t with JB she’d likely be happier (duh), saying she feels lost, and she doesn’t know who she is. The solution seems easy (and involves the barring of one burdensome, greasy inhabitant of Venice Beach) but I fear Audrina just can’t quit her addiction. We’ll have to wait and see, I suppose. The two end their emotional discussion with a hug, possibly signifying the healing of their friendship.

The Hills, You Did This, MTV series Episode Recap & Blog

I was wondering when they’d get around to this subject. We finally see all the crazy details of the notorious Justin Bobby/Lauren rumor. Apparently, some guy named Dino told Audrina about the alleged affair between JB and LC. Upon hearing this, she tries to get in touch with the object of her affections but he’s as elusive as ever. She calls everyone she knows to spread the rumor even further and goes on various talk shows (I saw her on Ellen) to play victim for willing audiences.

Lauren, completely offended that her friend would ever believe something so outrageous, talks about the events with Lo. Both are equally aghast. Words dripping with sarcasm, LC says, “I couldn’t resist his charm and his manners and his impeccable hygiene.” I have to say, I totally believe she did not hook up with Justin. It’s hard to even imagine such a bizarre pairing. Although, it would explain some of the tension between them. Hmm.

Audrina comes over to make her inquiry face-to-face and Lauren doesn’t come straight out and deny it. I can see how Audrina might take that as an admission of guilt but I’m still not convinced Lauren is, in fact, blameworthy. Finally, Audrina meets with Justin Bobby, who looks greasier than ever, and calls Audrina immature for her obsessively irate phone stalking. He really seemed hurt by whatever messages she left him. JB has feelings too!

Casey, who is quickly positioning herself as the tattooed voice of reason, says everyone needs to just “grow up.” To discuss the situation and their damaged friendship, Audrina and Lauren (with Lo by her side) meet at a noisy club. Just the place for an intimate convo, right? Lauren, not even attempting to tiptoe around her opinion of Justin Bobby anymore, announces that she would rather kill herself than hook up with him. Audrina is sure that she’s in the right and that initiating a media blitz to further spread the rumor was completely justified. In her defense, she’s not very bright and is sort of a media whore. So all her actions honestly made sense to her.

What was Spencer up to this week? Oh, just trying to demolish the relationship between Heidi and her sister. Nothing out of the ordinary. Holly stops by the Speidi apartment where Spencer does his eating and non-working. He kind of made me laugh though: “I’ll be like, ‘Hey the girl that moved in with LC came by but we didn’t have anything in our fridge for her so she left.’” Holly finds Heidi at work to tell her what everyone tells her: Spencer is trouble. Later, Spencer stays mum about Holly’s visit to the apartment and mocks Heidi’s demotion to cubicle status.

“You put something in your head and you think you really believe it when it’s fictitious; something’s not right there, dude.”

–Justin Bobby, yet another pearl of wisdom