The Dope Box TV Blog

9:00 - Does it really count if you wish on an air vent?

9:01 - McDreamy and Meredith all snuggled up (very sweet). It’s been a nice change of pace to see them as a stable, functional couple for so long. Mer’s request for a quickie? Cute, but people who find sex energizing puzzle me. It’s soporific, like a Thanksgiving turkey feast.

9:02 - PDR = “Prisoner, Death Row” (cue dramatic techno music). Hunt seems rather unimpressed. Being a doctor in a warzone prepares one for just about anything, I suppose. Derek, on the other hand, looks as if he’s just found a fingernail in his salad.

9:03 - What a cordial murderer. “You have a lovely voice.”

9:03 - PDR compares being a serial killer with being a doctor. Ooo, burn!

9:04 - Who hasn’t broken a couple fingers doing yoga?

9:06 - Sick kid has the forethought to snatch the lollipops before his doctor hits the ground. Nicely done.

9:09 - Oh, Izzie. Such a dilemma. Hot alive dude or hot dead dude? Denny is right, though. Telling Alex about all the posthumous or hallucinatory sex they’re having is a monumentally bad idea. Also awkward to inject into a conversation.

9:12 - “She violated me with the nakedness.” Both Callie and Sloan are having trouble resisting interns. Apparently being groomed like a monkey is a big turn on for Callie, who gets all stammer-y when Sadie picks lint out of her hair. Sloan tells Lexi she can watch the surgery but “no touching anything.” Seriously. The worst teaching hospital ever.

9:13 - Heelys! I hope Dr. Arizona takes those off when armed with a scalpel.

9:14 - Sheesh. I guess Derek and PDR won’t be braiding each other’s hair anytime soon.

9:19 - I think we can all assume what he did was pretty bad. Death row ain’t for shoplifters.

9:19 - So, Hunt is unaffected by a battered death row patient, but the bickering of Christina/Meredith makes him raise his eyebrows in amused bewilderment?

9:20 - A). Alex’s grandmother appeared in a dream to tell him not to fiddle with his junk? B). “Tell him I said hi”?!? Alex is definitely too comfortable with crazy.

9:21 - Next week on Grey’s Anatomy: Yang stabs Grey in the spinal column with a toothbrush shank.

9:22 - Sick kid is campaigning hard. I think, even if he isn’t dying, he deserves a wish after 12 bowel resectionings.

9:24 - Broken bones patient is irritating. Here’s hoping she breaks her jaw next so she can’t shout “Come on!” anymore.

9:28 - “You thought Shepherd was just a haircut, you didn’t like Hahn, and you think Dr. Sloan is a hussy. Can you name any attending you thought was good?”

9:29 - Hunt ignored Yang when they first got the PDR case; now he brings her coffee? He may be a little douche-y but his orange beard is hott (note the additional t).

9:31 - Callie’s relationship record: Impulsive marriage to George, who slept with Izzie on the sly; Nouveau lesbian experiment with Dr. Hahn; Friends with benefits sexy-time with Sloan. These people are aware that there are datable humans outside the hospital, right?

9:31 - Mocking the bouncy house? Blasphemous!

9:34 - It’s important to consider alliteration when plotting the death of others.

9:42 - I sense a bromance blooming between Hunt and Shepherd.

9:43 - “I’d rather you fantasized about me…or chicks. But whatever.” A totally normal reaction to the news that his girlfriend is fucking a ghost.

9:43 - Uh, is Alex pleasuring Izzie to make Dead Denny jealous?

9:45 - As my gift to you on this the day of your birth, I bequeath an open, multi-dimension relationship.

9:46 - Why is Bailey being stupid? Get the boy some new intestines!

9:47 - I don’t think Hunt is hot/cold on purpose to play mind games. I think he’s just naturally abrasive and unable to be consistently sensitive to others. Sound like someone we know?

9:54 - I will not cry. I will not cry. Damn you, GA writers!

9:56 - I knew Sloan would give in. He is a hussy, after all. I wonder if downing shots and gnawing on the straw means Callie plans to make a move on Sadie.

9:58 - Poignant, uncannily related, personal anecdote revealed! Derek hates killers cuz his dad was shot by a watch thief. Meredith reacts to the tragic tale by furrowing her brow and saying: “Sorry, just a bad day all around, I guess.”

9:59 - McDreamy’s goofy faces and hoe-down moves are enough to cheer up even the most self-absorbed whiner (*cough* Meredith *cough*).

10:00 - I guess I’m hard to please, but I wouldn’t be delighted by the prospect of birthday cake with “funny” tasting innards. No matter how “okay” the frosting may be.

Jon Hamm - Mad Men

As Don Draper (the boozing, womanizing, ad man with a dark past) Jon Hamm is perfection. He’s Old Hollywood handsome and impossibly cool. He wades through the complexities of a flawed character, managing to make him engaging and likable while he sins.

Hugh Laurie - House MD

House is a pill-popping, narcissistic, sardonic curmudgeon with skewed morals and a gimpy leg. On paper, he seems like the villain but he plays out more like an anti-hero. He saves lives while mercilessly fucking with those around him. Hugh Laurie’s expert comedic timing, firm grasp on the dramatic, and atypical sex appeal have made this character thoroughly watchable for five seasons and counting.

Nelsan Ellis - True Blood

Lafayette Reynolds is a fry cook. An entrepreneurial, homosexual, drug-dealing, vampire draining (with permission, of course), prostituting fry cook with a fondness for sparkly accessories. While I enjoy Bill and Eric, I get a bigger kick out of watching Lafayette’s antics. Whether he’s being a comfort to his trainwreck cousin Tara, stripping for his awaiting web audience, romancing portly vamps, or scolding homophobic rednecks, he is pure entertainment.

Simon Baker - The Mentalist

The Mentalist is centered on Baker’s character, former fake-psychic Patrick Jane, who solves crimes using his masterful powers of observation. He’s effortlessly charming and alluring. Honestly, the show is largely predictable and would likely be a dud in his absence.

Joshua Jackson - Fringe

I’ve had a frustrating relationship with Fringe since its start. Feeling discouraged by muddled plotlines and static character development, I nearly threw in the towel. Peter Bishop (Jackson) is a large part of why I have yet to give up. Sure, I enjoy his quips but I’m also drawn to the relationship between Peter and Walter. It gets more interesting as they peel back the layers of dysfunction. And, who didn’t have a little crush on Pacey back in the day?

Ed Westwick- Gossip Girl

Chuck Bass has gone through several character progressions since the start of season one. He’s been an entirely despicable sleaze, an ego-maniacal partaker of debauchery, and an impish charmer with the aptitude for love. Whether you hate him, love him, or feel a mixture of both, he’s become wholly indispensible.

Michael Emerson - Lost

He’s the King of the Paranormal Island. Creepy? Uh-huh. Unpredictable? For sure. Emerson’s Benjamin Linus somehow manages to make all those sexy, chiseled, barely-dressed men disappear when he’s onscreen. I have no idea where he falls on the good guy/bad guy meter, which is part of his magnetism. He just, quite simply, makes the show better.

Kiefer Sutherland - 24

Jack Bauer is a man you want to have in your corner. Except for the fact that everyone he knows is relentlessly threatened or killed. Still, with his tight jeans and husky voice, he’s a guy I happily follow through increasingly improbable circumstances.

Michael C Hall - Dexter

Dexter Morgan is…complicated. He’s a sociopathic serial killer with morals. A Dark Defender who loves his sister and makes pancakes for his girlfriend’s children. The Dexter we see most often is the one who feigns normalcy. We’re privy to the real Dex through his interior monologue and, even more so, during the kill scenes. This season was an emotional roller coaster as our lovable murderer questioned his code, dealt with daddy issues, took a stab at honest friendship, and figured out what family meant to him. Hall is the perfect Dexter, handling the dramatics and sly humor with expertise.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan - Whatever

He’s got a knack for playing irresistible dead guys (Grey’s Anatomy, Weeds, Supernatural). And he can wear the hell out of a plain white undershirt. But I don’t care whether his characters are among the living or hallucinatory, dressed in a hospital gown or a tea-towel, Mr. Morgan is one appealing fella.