House: The Greater Good – A Villain Named Menses
We’re always treated to disgusting symptoms. In fact, nary an episode goes by that we don’t see blood being hacked up or spit out or mixed with urine in a catheter. This time, the patient of the week at Princeton Plainsboro has a smorgasbord of bloody unpleasantness. Her belly swells with blood; she sleepily scratches a hole through her head all the way to brain matter; she oozes blood out every facial orifice. Her problem? A super gnarly period.
Despite bringin’ the grossness, the patient also inspired rage, guilt, and introspection in those around her. She had been a brilliant doctor, close to curing kiddie cancer, when she decided she wasn’t happy and became a chef’s assistant instead. She essentially gave the “greater good” the finger so she could chop onions beside pretentious guys in funny hats.
The abandonment of such a noble cause makes Taub question his wife’s decision to forgo having offspring and makes Wilson pissy. Taub eventually decides he’s cool with no kids and Wilson fesses up to being haunted by Amber’s stuff. More specifically, Wilson is haunted by Amber’s mug that has been sitting next to the sink, growing botulism since her death. Its ultimate washing symbolizes a healthy move forward. Sidebar: Seeing Wilson wash dishes makes me so zen.
Foreman and Thirteen are doing it. When they’re in bed together, Foreman makes a verbal observation about her pillow-full of nighttime saliva: “You drool.” He doesn’t say it in a playful way either, but it succeeds in making her giggle and look coyly at her spitty pillow. Later, he tells her about the totally unethical switcheroo he pulled and she responds by saying she’s not comfortable with him being that into her. Turns out she has some kind of ocular tumor which magically sprouted in less than a week of being on the real trial meds. After an MRI, Foreman goes to visit her and she has the big “My leg is bleeding and I’m blind!” reveal, making me snicker uncontrollably. House and Foreman perform radiation on her, resulting in an “I can see!” moment. This time my snicker turned to a full-blown belly laugh. Even though she’s better and there is absolutely no valid reason, Foreman rats on himself to the trial doctor. Oh, and we get another slice of Foreteen pillowtalk: “You snore.”
The most enjoyable part of the episode was Cuddy’s ongoing revenge on House. Due to the fact that no one else is capable of dealing with his tomfoolery, Cuddy has to leave Rachel with a nanny so she can resume her duties. Interestingly, all her pranks involve causing him harm or discomfort on a physical level, readily taking advantage of the fact that he’s gimpy. In a particularly amusing moment, House’s cane is stolen so he snatches the janitor’s mop and bucket for support. He wheels his way in to see Cuddy who looks up and says, “I don’t remember demoting you.”
House does not retaliate, claiming he wants a return to normalcy and his reprisal will only escalate things. Wilson is convinced that House is really just taking the hits because he feels guilty about being the cause of Cuddy’s forced return. When Cuddy eventually apologizes he tells her he blames Aunt Flo for her recent bought of vengeance. Can’t a girl ever be enraged to the point of pranks and boobytraps without menstruation being the presumed culprit? And, perhaps more importantly, what the hell is going on with Cuddy’s bangs?
“Shocks without shock; an itch that won’t stop. She needs Dr. Seuss.” -House
