House “Joy”
House M.D., Fox television series, Tuesdays
Inside the dreariest of all apartments lived a man, a girl, and a dozen coffee makers. Until they informed us that the guy was just a product tester, I was sure he had some mysterious illness that requires him to stay home and ingest a constant stream of java. I was also sure that I was likewise afflicted.
Turns out Mr. Lackluster is a sleepwalker…with a coke habit. The only logical thing to do upon learning those tidbits is have Thirteen and Taub go buy drugs from the guy’s hooker dealer, right? Taub is very polite: “I would like to buy some cocaine, please.” And Thirteen sure does know her blow. House’s idea that lactose intolerance was the cause made me momentarily doubt his brilliance. Pretty sure lactose intolerance causes flatulence, not sleep walking/driving/snorting.
House is on a “humanitarian” mission to show Cuddy just how annoying motherhood is. He tosses baby upchuck at her shirt, knocks over her lamp, and questions and berates her every decision. Meanwhile, the unstable ex-druggy who is supposed to hand her baby over to Cuddy has a medical emergency. The baby donor gets a gross rash, cries a lot, and then totally bails on her agreement with Cuddy.
In the final scene, Cuddy is emotionally wiped out, weeping in the empty nursery, when House shows up. Then the moment that all “Huddy” fans have waited for…they kiss! They follow this with an abrupt “Goodnight,” as if he’d just delivered a pizza rather than shared a passionate romantic moment.
After the usual number of incorrect diagnoses, and a little blood sweating, House has an epiphany. The puzzle-solving part of the show is usually pretty formulaic. But the wit and unconventional characters keep me contentedly tuned in.
Will we see the beginning of a real relationship between House an Cuddy? Or will they just nervously avoid each other for a while?
“Sleeping Beauty has a jones for Snow White.”
-House
