The Dope Box TV Blog

What happens when you throw a gaggle of attractive young actors together for hours on end, day after day? They make out with each other, of course! Rumors are running rampant about the latest hook-ups and it seems that Leighton Meester is the only one not getting any action. This is more likely a sign of discernment rather than rejection. Here’s the pair-up list:

Blake Lively and Penn Badgley: Solidly together for quite some time…unlike their fictional alter egos.

Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick: This one always makes me chuckle. Though I’m not a believer, I have heard this swirling around for months. If it’s true…Ed likes to write poetry and recite it to his roomie and part-time luva. Hot? Kinda.

Jessica Szohr and Ed Westwick: There were recent mutterings about these two making out at an airport over Thanksgiving. I’m sure she’s a lovely girl but I dislike her character so much it makes me a little ill to imagine this pairing.

Chace Crawford and Taylor Momsen: Holy Cindy Loo-Who, I hope it’s not true. She’s not even old enough to drive without adult supervision and he’s in his twenties. Can’t think about this sans gag-reflex.

Are they on some sort of swapping schedule? Who’s next, Jessica and Taylor? They’re going to run out of castmates to do any minute now…Bring on the newbies!

As for the spin-off talk that’s ever-present lately, I have a prediction. Since I haven’t heard anyone mention the person I have in mind, it’s probable that I’m wrong. Looking like an ass doesn’t scare me, though, so here goes:

Producers have said Jenny will not be the focus (even though the book series spin-off is about her). While Vanessa’s absence would actually please me, I don’t think she’s a character the audience would follow to another timeslot. Serena, Dan, Blair, and Chuck are all integral parts of the show. Chace Crawford (Nate) has a substantial following and would do fine with his own show but I don’t think producers will want him to go elsewhere while Gossip Girl is on the rise. I think the spin-off will focus on Georgina (Michelle Trachtenberg). Supposedly, she’s coming back sometime this season for a guest spot. It could very well be for the spin-off semi-pilot they’re shooting. She’s a complex character with plenty of dramatic potential (read: trainwreck). Plus, the actress is popular (Buffy’s sis) and experienced enough to manage her own show. Thoughts?

Update: Spoiler alert. Don’t read if you don’t want to know. According the Star magazine (which isn’t known for stellar journalism but this seems true), the new spin-off will focus on Rufus and Lily. Huh? Well, sort of. The new show is supposed to be about Rufus and Lily when they were young and first met. Therefore, the actors who play them will stay on GG and new, young actors will be brought in. We’ll get an introduction to them in a flashback scene coming up in a few months. The idea sounds promising but it depends entirely on how watchable the new Rufus and Lily are. Are you excited about this or have you had enough of that plotline?

Update AGAIN: The execs say: “Contrary to the rumors and false reports breaking in the tabloids, there is no approved concept and/or confirmation of a Gossip Girl spin-off at this time.” Why on earth would they talk about a possible spin-off in the first place without a real idea? I think they’re just enjoying watching everyone squirm. Got me again, GG producers!

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Gossip Girl: O Brother, Where Bart Thou?

Well, this one was a doozy.

Bart Bass is dead and Chuck is in self-imposed solitary confinement at a hotel. He’s avoiding everyone while comforting himself with plenty of booze and possibly an orgy (didn’t they mention twins?). Blair is taking this avoidance very personally. Serena uses her mourning time to wander about in black negligee and talk about how “natural” it feels to spend so much time with Dan. Is anyone surprised?

Sneaking out, away from the prying eyes of her meddling mother, Lily meets with Rufus in the park. He says he’ll wait for her, as long as it takes, six months or six years. I think “forever” might have been a more romantic sentiment, but he tried. Cece followed Lily and now knows the union she tried so hard to break up is in full force.

At the funeral, Dan and Aaron bicker over who Serena texted first and when she arrives she noticeably hugs Dan longer. Basically, it’s a whole lotta boring until Chuck enters the scene. Hair mussed, eyes red, head cocked like a drunk and confused Rottweiler, the remaining Bass has to be held up by Nate and Blair. He spends much of his screen time snarling at people with nostrils flared, bandying about wild accusations. When Lily comes up to comfort him he says, “Don’t touch me, whore!” He tells Dan his father is to blame for Bart’s death, kicks him out (which made perfect sense to me) and stumbles inside.

Doing his best to push everyone away, Chuck throws insults around before making a grand exit. Blair follows him to his limo, tells him to stay or take her. She gives a romantic speech, saying “I’ll stand by you through anything because… I love you.” She’s finally said those three little words. Although he looks gutted, he gathers his angry arrogance before replying, “Well that’s too bad.” If I were to psychoanalyze his actions, I would say he’s trying to distance himself from those he cares about because he’s afraid of another loss. He’s also full of pain and lacks the maturity to seek comfort through healthy channels. If he can find someone to blame, he thinks that will bring him solace.

Blair is devastated. After Cyrus tells her how happy he is that they’re becoming family, she blurts out that she told Chuck she loves him and that it did not go well. In a moment of undeniable sweetness, he comforts her and they share a sincere hug.

Aaron, master of impeccable timing, decides the funeral of his girlfriend’s stepfather is the perfect moment to present her with a ticket to Buenos Aires for Christmas. Pretty presumptuous move on his part. Now, I’m just a regular human being, but leaving my family at Christmastime (directly following a tragedy) to go frolicking around South America seems, well, cold. Selfish. Besides that, Aaron’s facial hair is bothersome.

Serena runs the little trip by Dan, who rightly says: “Are you asking me to ask you not to go?” She doesn’t exactly confirm or deny that she’s fishing but says Aaron is great. Dan tells her she has her answer, then notices there has been a muffin fruit mix-up and makes his usual bumbling exit. Lily tells Serena it’s cool to go on the trip and makes plan to go away with Rufus. So is Eric going to hang with his adulterous ex and alky grandma for the holidays? Is it any wonder the kid tried to off himself?

Although Cece was supposed to pay the PI to get Lily’s file of scandalous secrets, she decides it’s time for the truth to come out. So she lies about having taken care of it. How delightfully hypocritical. Chuck meets with Lily, looking satisfied with his win. She tells him not to turn his back on those who love him, a lesson his father never learned. Apparently her speech does the trick because he burns the papers. Cece makes sure Rufus knows the secret anyway, claiming she’s helping to give Lily and him a real chance at happiness. Riiiiight.

And the secret is…Lily had Rufus’s baby. Okay, it was kinda obvious but it is enough to end their romance. Also, it’s a little skeevy to think about Dan and Serena dating each other when they share a sibling. I know it isn’t technically incest but…it’s a bit on the awkward side. Presumably, she gave the kid up for adoption. Are we going to meet the Van der Humphrey spawn?

After Cyrus and Eleanor’s nuptials, Dorota takes Blair aside to tell her something. Chuck is sitting on her bed. Destroyed. She wraps herself around him. He hesitates, then he leans back against her, affectionately holding her arm. Tears roll down his cheeks and he looks deeply wounded. If this one didn’t bring tears to your eyes, you are officially not human. Blair spoons him while he sleeps. She wakes up to find him gone and a note that says: “I’m sorry for everything. You deserve much better. Don’t come looking for me. –Chuck” I assume we’re going to see him back to his old debauchery for a while.

Now it’s time for the weekly rundown of the uncredited character I like most: Chuck’s wardrobe.

This was a disappointing week in nutty Chuck garb. It hardly seems worth noting but here goes:

Pinstripe suit: 1

Pocket square: 1

V-neck pullover: 1

No paisley, no hef-like robes, no plaid, no ascots, no bowties, no loud scarves. Absolutely no sparkle. It was all bleak funeral attire for Mr. Bass this week. *Tear*

I can’t believe we have to wait a month for the next episode!

“Nobody is comforted by a tuna tower.” -Lily

“Only a masochist could love such a narcissist.” –Blair