ANTM “Planes, Trains, and Slow Automobiles”
America’s Next Top Model, CW TV series, Wednesdays
The first quarter of the show had the remaining models paired up, in a foreign country, following instructions in order to find their mystery destination. It was like a special edition of The Amazing Race: Pretty, Skinny and Vapid.
Analeigh, Marjorie, and Elina treated the viewing audience to a Amsterdamian, care-free, group bubble bath. They stand for unity between people who are sorta European and people who kinda figure skate. Sheena, who was no doubt jealous she hadn’t thought of an excuse to get naked first, criticized them for their thunderous giggling.
Amsterdam’s red light district is famous for its window displays of prostitutes posing in order to sell sex. In a confusing and misguided attempt to protest this objectification of women, local fashion designers made the models don their designs and pose in those same windows. I’d wager with confidence that, at some point during shooting, a pervert came up and inquired as to how much an hour with Sheena would cost. As for the challenge itself, Marjorie was spaztastic perfection but got screwed (figuratively speaking) because of her hoochie partner.
Mckey wore some kind of medieval wrestler frock, complete with chainmail and bondage straps, to panel. She got best picture despite the fact that her legs looked freakishly gigantesque, making her head appear alarmingly tiny in comparison. Marjorie once again got robbed.
Sheena’s exit was well-deserved. It seems inevitable that Samantha (looking more skanky mallrat, less lacrosse player this week) will go back to the U S of A next.
”I like a little bit of freak.” -Nigel
