The Dope Box TV Blog

Ugly Betty, ABC television series, Thursdays

Betty officially likes a boy again. Jesse. He’s cute. He’s a musician. He’s like Pete Wentz without the excessive eyeliner and flat-ironed hair. It was pretty clear from the jump that this guy was going to disappoint our innocent protagonist this week. He’s in constant need of praise, well overdue for anti-depressants, and a little too emo for his own good. Plus, his band is called Dark Sexual Journey. Ahem.

All the other men Betty’s been involved with have chased her. This time she’s the obsessive stalkery one, waiting for him in the waking dawn, coffee in hand, when she knows he’ll be coming home from a gig. I can’t imagine liking a guy enough to prematurely part ways with my pillow in the morning.

The crazy early-rising gets her to work while the building is nearly vacant. It’s just her, security guards, and naked Amanda. Evicted from her own apartment and, subsequently, from squatting at Mode, Amanda invites herself to be Betty’s roommate. A montage of her prancing around in fluffy negligee ensues. Strangely, the habitually malevolent Mandy puts forth an honest effort to befriend Betty after moving in. And she makes Betty’s freak show clothes fashionable (well…almost).

 Wilhelmina’s confessed randiness is focused on the Bond-like Conor this episode. The effect he has on women is no joke. He has models mindlessly munching donuts…the force is strong with this one. Although Willie normally gets what she wants, it turns out this bloke is engaged.

 Mark faces 3 serious issues this week. 1). His devoted photographer boyfriend wants to move in and Mark’s a commitment-phobe. 2). Wilhelmina totally punches him in the face. 3). He’s wearing a pearl necklace. The solution? Cruise a beefy stranger, then ask Cliff to get married.

 Following the raucous roof party thrown together by Betty and her cohorts, B walks in on her roomie and crush locking lips. While it is understandable that she’d be upset, she was pretty harsh on Amanda. The girl had no idea which fellow was the object of her affections. Her only offense was promiscuity, and who among us hasn’t dabbled a little in that arena?

 Feeling effectively crushed, tearful Betty talks to Daniel about feeling ugly. Around the same time, a piece of dust irritated my eyes, causing them to react in a watery way. Amanda and Betty make up, which pleases me because the shifting relationship between them is a fresh new dynamic. And…Betty and Wilhelmina share a beer and a silent I-feel-your-pain-sister moment on the roof.

 ”Living with a fatty is hard.” -Amanda

Ugly Betty, ABC television series, Thursdays

After her cute rocker neighbor inspires her to “get sweaty,” Betty decides to pitch ideas to Daniel. For the Hot issue of Mode magazine, her idea is to find the current Hot Fruit. Insert obvious gay joke here.

 Betty does research that leads her to some hairy fruit and the super model that loves it. This discovery gives her a chance out of assistant hell. Kimmie sabotages her TV interview, leaving Betty looking like a hot mess. Literally. Melting face and all. She ends up mindlessly jabbering about “Adriana’s berries.”

 Amanda and Mark, pissed that Kimmie is giving them the brush off, ask Betty to help them take her down. In keeping with the character’s integrity, she says no. She later tries to partake in their evil plan but backpedals. Without Betty’s ridiculously unrealistic moral compass, the show would be unbalanced. After calling Wilhelmina “babe” Kimmie is sent packing anyway.

I know Betty is supposed to look like a fashion disaster but she’s getting a little too Mad Hatter lately.

 Was that the Karate Kid in Hilda’s salon? It’s hard to know for sure without the Miyagi dojo headband and readied crane kick position.

 ”I don’t like it when the masses get ideas.” -Amanda