The Dope Box TV Blog

The Hills, You Did This, MTV series Episode Recap & Blog

I was wondering when they’d get around to this subject. We finally see all the crazy details of the notorious Justin Bobby/Lauren rumor. Apparently, some guy named Dino told Audrina about the alleged affair between JB and LC. Upon hearing this, she tries to get in touch with the object of her affections but he’s as elusive as ever. She calls everyone she knows to spread the rumor even further and goes on various talk shows (I saw her on Ellen) to play victim for willing audiences.

Lauren, completely offended that her friend would ever believe something so outrageous, talks about the events with Lo. Both are equally aghast. Words dripping with sarcasm, LC says, “I couldn’t resist his charm and his manners and his impeccable hygiene.” I have to say, I totally believe she did not hook up with Justin. It’s hard to even imagine such a bizarre pairing. Although, it would explain some of the tension between them. Hmm.

Audrina comes over to make her inquiry face-to-face and Lauren doesn’t come straight out and deny it. I can see how Audrina might take that as an admission of guilt but I’m still not convinced Lauren is, in fact, blameworthy. Finally, Audrina meets with Justin Bobby, who looks greasier than ever, and calls Audrina immature for her obsessively irate phone stalking. He really seemed hurt by whatever messages she left him. JB has feelings too!

Casey, who is quickly positioning herself as the tattooed voice of reason, says everyone needs to just “grow up.” To discuss the situation and their damaged friendship, Audrina and Lauren (with Lo by her side) meet at a noisy club. Just the place for an intimate convo, right? Lauren, not even attempting to tiptoe around her opinion of Justin Bobby anymore, announces that she would rather kill herself than hook up with him. Audrina is sure that she’s in the right and that initiating a media blitz to further spread the rumor was completely justified. In her defense, she’s not very bright and is sort of a media whore. So all her actions honestly made sense to her.

What was Spencer up to this week? Oh, just trying to demolish the relationship between Heidi and her sister. Nothing out of the ordinary. Holly stops by the Speidi apartment where Spencer does his eating and non-working. He kind of made me laugh though: “I’ll be like, ‘Hey the girl that moved in with LC came by but we didn’t have anything in our fridge for her so she left.’” Holly finds Heidi at work to tell her what everyone tells her: Spencer is trouble. Later, Spencer stays mum about Holly’s visit to the apartment and mocks Heidi’s demotion to cubicle status.

“You put something in your head and you think you really believe it when it’s fictitious; something’s not right there, dude.”

–Justin Bobby, yet another pearl of wisdom

The Hills, One Last Chance MTV series

The show begins with a little chat between Whitney and Lauren. Whit has kept in contact with Jay the Serenader…guess we’ll see more of his hairy Aussie hotness on her new show. LC mentions that Holly is “crashing” at her place. They both agree that it would be a shame if the sweet Midwestern girl incurs the wrath of Spencer. LC and Audrina have a similar talk later on at a club. They repeatedly, and with emphasis, mention what a “real girl” Holly is. A strange compliment, but I suppose there is a shortage of “real” anything in LA.

Next on Lauren’s tour of telling everyone about Holly (seriously, did she do anything else this week?): Stephanie Pratt. Why, Lauren? Why do you continue to share things with Steph that you don’t want Speidi to know?

Justin Bobby and Audrina are seen taking a couple’s stroll down Venice Beach. In Hollywood, JB seems out of place, but in this environment he just makes sense. They sit in the sand where Justin philosophizes about sunsets and points out that which is “zenful”.  

Audrina gushes about how much her boyfried is improving to her sister Casey. Sis, looking unimpressed, asks if he still disappears for a week at a time without explanation. From the sight of Audrina’s squirming I would guess the answer is yes.

Mr. Zen and Audrina have a cute little dinner where he gives her a t-shirt and then makes a classy request: “No bra with that thing please. Thank you.” It’s important to say “please” and “thank you” when asking girls to shed their undergarments, right?

Heidi is multitasking: organizing her closet and playing the blame game. Damn her! Why does she have to put me in a position to have to defend Sir Douchebag? Okay, here it is. She invited him to her work event, she insulted her boss, she got wasted. Yes, he’s an absolute nightmare of a human being but her firing was not his fault. Ugh, now I feel sullied. As for Holly…Heidi didn’t have to throw her sister out. She could have chosen sis over dick. She allowed him to push away yet another person she’s close to.

Sam Nazarian (head guy of sbe, whose logo is always in view when he’s on camera) gives Heidi another chance. Of course he does! He knows having Heidi and the MTV film crew at his company’s shindigs is good for business. Oh, right, we don’t talk about the fact that they’re all being filmed for a hit MTV series. Maybe they’ll do a spinoff  of The Hills where they actually talk about The Hills.

Spencer gives Heidi kudos for getting rehired. And then ruins the moment by saying how it’s great because now she “won’t be moping around here.” Enter Stephanie, who tells them Holly is staying with Lauren (within 30 seconds of her arrival). Spencie proceeds to say “mooch” about a hundred times and Heidi then blurts out the understatement of the century (“Maybe you’re the problem.”). End scene.

“Who’s gonna say no to a homeless person?” -Stephanie