The Dope Box TV Blog

Heroes, NBC television series, Mondays

I really want to like this show. It used to be easy. One big problem with it is there is no one to root for. None of the characters have been properly developed because so much time is devoted to twisty plotlines and emerging heroes.

When Hiro says “villain,” it sounds like he’s saying “vegan.” Not exactly intimidating to have someone yelling “I am a vegan!” at you.

 Aw, Maya hurts Suresh’s feelings by refusing to be near him. Sheesh, you encase a girl in a gelatinous cocoon one time and she never forgives you.

Obvious question of the week: After Elle involuntarily electrocutes herself, over and over, Claire asks, “Is something wrong with you?”

And so they went, off to see the wizard. Elle calls Claire “Dorothy” but isn’t it the scarecrow who needs a brain?

Peter falls about a zillion stories but doesn’t die. Yay?

 Parkman is supposed to be a brilliant mind reader. How can he not know that the chick he’s with is setting him up?

As Sylar is suspended in midair by Daddy Petrelli, something became clear to me. Wire harnesses make no one’s ass look attractive. They can make the wire equipment invisible but they can’t keep you from looking like you have a load in your drawers.

Out of the whole lineup of “heroes,” I enjoy Sylar the most. He’s got the most layers and is the only one with a sense of humor.

Fingers crossed that next week’s episode won’t make me sleepy!

 ”I wish I had your problems, Cheerleader.” -Elle

Heroes television series, NBC Mondays

As I continued to try desperately to enjoy Heroes as I once did, my mind began to wander. This new character, Daphne, reminds me of the ingénue in Run Lola Run. Similar haircut, full of attitude…and, well, she runs. A lot. I’m pretty sure she’s supposed to seem tough but she’s much too spritely for that. Makes you want to pinch her little cheeks and send her off to bake cookies in the hollow of a tree. By the way, how is it that no one notices her disappearing into a blur? Hiro is even worse. Are there no available phone booths?

Message to Claire’s mom: she can’t die, dummy! Let her out of the damn house!

I must say, it was rather enjoyable watching Daddy Petrelli suck the life out of Adam. That character was sucking the life out of all of us.

Is Suresh turning into the Fly? Prediction: Mohinder becomes super gooey; finds out his dad is really Jeff Goldblum.

Peter Petrelli. I remember him as the lovable rebel on Gilmore Girls. His anger emphasizes his adorably lop-sided mouth. Part Sly Stallone, part stroke victim, with a dash of James Dean. His character suffers from the same flaw they all share on Heroes. Utter lack of three-dimensionality.

Creepy puppet guy made my skin crawl. Claire asks him to let her moms go instead of simply sizzling him with her taser. A girl that stupid should not be allowed to fight bad guys. Okay, she redeems herself in the badass Russian roulette resurrection scene.