Top Chef: Focus Group – Judges with Accents, Camera Espionage

Serena Mercay
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Eugene has a problem with reality. Convinced that his food is genius, he complains at great length about how the judges just don’t understand him. Honestly, though, has he cooked one thing that anyone could stomach? He’s long been benefiting from the slightly worse failure of others.

This week, for the “Dr. Pepper” (shameless corporate plug!) Quickfire Challenge, they are forced to make a dessert without sugar. Guest judge is Jean-Christophe Novelli, an acclaimed pastry chef who is about to have his own show. I guess we can look forward to more of him muttering things in a largely indecipherable accent and repeating the word “interesting” as a blanket description for all things food-related. Some chefs take that description as a compliment and thank him; most just look confused.

During Carla’s interviews they tend to play music that conjures up images of monkeys juggling bicycle tires. I guess they’re trying to tell us she’s a little kooky. Watching Stefan screw with the judge is amusing. Does he think taking jabs at France would put him in Jean-Christophe’s good graces? The skinny bitches in Miami prepared Jeff well; his concoction makes it to the top three. But Radhika wins immunity with her bread pudding. Aside: Desserts without sugar make me sad.

For the Elimination Challenge we get yet another new judge. My guess is that they’re trying to find someone to replace Gail, who we’ve not heard from since she got hitched. Rather than getting another pretty girl with a refined palette (Padma fills that quota nicely anyway, right?), we get Toby Young. He’s a Brit with a proclivity for metaphors, who is decidedly snarky and makes the chefs quake in their slip-resistant clogs.

Tom Colicchio drops by for a surprise visit to divulge details for the challenge. Fabio is clearly upset about the unsightliness of the apartment when his deity arrives. It’s revealed that the chefs will have to make a family-style meal (not exactly specific) in 2 groups and 2 people will be “packing their knives.” It will also be a blind tasting, meaning the judges won’t know who made what. As Novelli would say, this is an interesting change of pace.

Group A: Eugene, Jamie, Radhika, Hosea, Melissa, and Fabio.

Group B: Jeff, Carla, Ariane, Stefan, and Leah.

Jamie is taking another whack at scallops, much to Fabio’s chagrin (”This is Top Chef, not Top Scallop!”). In descriptive background music news: Whenever Fabio talks about being Italian or his grandmother, they play generic accordion music, not unlike the kind heard in Lady and the Tramp during the infamous shared-spaghetti scene.

Apparently Carla’s new-age-y hearing is impacted by brisk walking, because she has to shop slowly so she can “hear” her intuition. Also, she informs us that the love starts in the condiment aisle. Duly noted, my fluffy friend.

As it turns out, each group will taste and judge the other group’s food. I thought it a little harsh that the first group had no clue they were being filmed with a hidden camera broadcasting their comments to the anxious judge-ees. Toby compared Radhika’s soup to WMDs, while Stefan said it was “against” his taste buds. By the way, Melissa’s fish tacos really did look like catfood.

With the next group, Tom and Toby bicker about Jeff’s dish. Tom hated it, saying it was like a plate of hors d’oeuvres. Toby, on the other hand, says it was a delightful surprise, comparing it to Tom Cruise’s cameo in Tropic Thunder. I’m not sure about the avocado sorbet, but Cruise was damn funny in that flick.

The top 3 are Stefan, Jamie, and Ariane but Jamie wins for her twentieth attempt at scallops. She celebrates by wandering around, mumbling indignations about it being “about time.” I could have told you who the bottom 3 would be before the episode aired. Carla is faulted for adding a scallop out of insecurity and using too much garlic, Eugene for using a member of the radish family in a hot dish, and Melissa for being uncreative (and for serving food with an inescapable fish funk).

I knew Eugene was going home when Tom mentioned feeling bummed that a fish had to give up its life for his dish. That’s cold. He and Melissa are eliminated. When exiting, I hear Eugene say: “When the boobs is gone, it’s time to move on.” This was much funnier before I was informed that he had, in fact, said “booze” not “boobs.”

“You could smell it in a way which wasn’t pleasant.” -Toby Young

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This entry was posted on Thursday, January 8th, 2009 at 1:37 pmand is filed under Top Chef. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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